Woulda Coulda Shoulda

I've been pondering who I am. Often times, I read a book, a blog, etc., and I find myself trying to be that woman, instead of just being myself. Does that ever happen to you?
  1. I wish I had the energy to clean, work on projects, cook up a storm, then be rested after 4 hours of sleep, like Martha.

  2. I wish I were more feminine like the gal who runs BrocanteHome. I want to decorate my house with antiques and special finds, just like she does. I want to have tea in the afternoon with a bit of cake.

  3. I wish I were well-read. I wish I had a high metabolism. I wish I had a house with a yard and a garden where I managed not to kill every single thing I planted.
We all wish so many things. I am guessing that before I can grow to be the person that I wish I was, I have to accept myself, as is.

That can be hard.

I don't think I will ever be really excited to clean the kitchen floor or to wash the dinner dishes. I need to learn to not expect it of myself either. Rather, I'd like to develop the discipline to do these things, albeit grudgingly, and just move on.

I don't have to be anyone but myself. I have to learn to be okay with that. I need to learn more about authenticity. To no longer say, "If I was just like her".

I am just as I should be. I am going to learn to embrace that.

1 comment:

Alison said...

Oh sweetie you don't wanna be like me! I'm scatty and chaotic and a teeny bit crackers...but I got this way by letting myself be...and if there's a lesson to be learned I guess authenticity is it...you seem kinda wonderful to me.x