Watch out for bears and hormonal women.

I'm going through a tough phase at the moment. The first few days at home were so exciting and I was running on adrenaline. I had no problem being deliriously happy and relatively stress free. The last few days, not so much.

I think I've broken down and cried 3 or 4 times today. Over small, inconsequential things. What has me in this state is that Violet has been more fussy than I'm use to, and I find myself quickly becoming overwhelmed when I can't figure out why she is crying. I know this is normal...but it still takes a toll on your emotions. I'm trying very hard to remember that things will get better, the crying will eventually end, and someday we'll be able to sleep better. I'm not depressed, but just a little overwhelmed.

My husband has been my life saver. He has been stepping in and taking over when I feel like I can't cope with my emotions and a fussy baby. He was up with Violet for several hours straight last night and let me sleep until, finally, he was at his breaking point as well. Thank God for him. I couldn't do this alone.

11 comments:

***Willow, Belle & Old Man Turbo's Mom*** said...

WeLcOmE to Mommy world! What you are experiencing is so normal. I remember feeling the same thing as you. especially when I was a first time Mom. Don't beat yourself up over it. I know you are doing all you can and more. It will all fall into a routine soon. This is all new for Violet too. once thing balance out you will be just fine. You are a great Mommy and Violet is a lucky Little girl to have you as her Mom.
Chin up Parker...it gets better. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

anna said...

I know I keep comparing yours to mine, but Lydia was the SAME way... she had severe colic and reflux, though, and even the nurses were having trouble with her. I hear first babies have finikier tummies.

Crying is also a first-time-round thing - because the pregnancy has been pretty much all-consuming, and suddenly it's the day after Christmas and everything you built up inside is coming back down into reality - more like a crash than a gentle descent, too. Don't be too hard on yourself - I went thru a whole box of kleenex in one hour, no joke.

With every subsequent child, you'll find yourself far better grounded thru the birth experience. I was ABSORBED with Lydia, and then when Isaac came I got weepy once (blamed it on hormones) and moved on, and with Ethan I was far too busy worrying about what my other two were up to and getting caught up on painting fingernails and actually PRIMPING a little in the hospital during naps.

It's okay. Count your blessings - and remember that it could be much MUCH worse - it could be colic and reflux.

minx said...

i remember that! i was a wreck, couldn't get near the newspaper--too much bad news. everything set me off. it's no fun, but i promise your hormones will stabilize and you'll feel much better.

but there's something about being a mom that makes things touch you deeper. it's a good thing, i think.

hang in there, you guys are doing fine. it sounds like your husband is an awesome guy, too. good for you, you picked a good one :)

Just Beachy said...

Hang in there sweetie, these first few weeks are difficult and praise God that your husband is comforting to you. And, remember, crying is okay, if you've done all you can do and there is still crying it is okay.

Keely said...

I was the same way. And Daniel was fabulous. Having great, supportive husbands makes it easier. This will pass and Violet will be on schedule soon. :)

Carey said...

Girl, I would be doing much less lurking and a lot more commenting if $@%#*in' blogger would just be more cooperative in letting me access the comments area!! It's either that or this fossil computer I use. Anyway, just wanted to tell you that I know where you are and how you feel, I was there just 10 days ago-- I'm here to show you the light at the end of the tunnel. We're on week three with him at home and it's already getting easier-- I got six hours of sleep last night (not consecutive, of course, but still 6 hours!) My husband, too, has been absolutely awesome. Just think of the women who have useless husbands and/or can't let go of "control" long enough to let their husbands at least try to help. The saving grace for us has been keeping him on the 10-1-4-7 schedule and letting him sleep through one of his nighttime feedings. Oh, and we LOVE Mylicon gas drops, his papasan swing, and giving him his bath before his 7:00 feeding. Bouncing him on a knee before you burp him has also been a pretty cool trick that I didn't find in any of the baby books.

Oh, and don't you EVEN feel a second's worth of guilt about the breastfeeding. Yes, they say "breast is best" but remember, there is almost an entire generation of Americans who weren't breastfed because it was pretty much taboo at the time. And some of the smartest people I know weren't breastfed. Think about it, you can have a glass of wine or a big ol' margarita to celebrate making it through the "first weeks of baby" trenches. And ANYONE can feed him. Sure, your hands are probably cracked and dry from washing all those bottles-- get some cute rubber dishwashing gloves and some cotton moisturizing gloves with hand lotion to wear inside while you're washing dishes and/or sleeping. And if there is ANYONE other than your husband that you trust to watch the baby while you catch a few winks, don't be afraid to ask him/her. Your sanity is paramount, preserve it as much as you possibly can.

Hang in there, friend. You are, as always, in my thoughts and prayers.

me said...

hi there, You are doing brilliantly and everything you feel is very normal - honest!
I had twins and the word 'overwhelmed' sums it up!!
Sleep when Violet sleeps and forget about the housework and washing!

rebekka said...

Wow, she is so beautiful! And I have never met you, but...from the picture on your site...she looks exactly like you!

Annie said...

Congratulations on your beautiful, beautiful baby.

Your world has been turned upside down, and things take a while to get into stride. You'll get there - and you'll love every minute (well, maybe not every minute :) )

3XMom said...

Hang in there. Remember, when you are going nuts it is OK to put the baby down in her crib and walk away for a few minutes. She cannot hurt herself -- nothing bad can happen, and you can reclaim what is left of your sanity! You are doing great, and she is GORGEOUS! COngratulations!

Waylon & Willie - the Boston Terrier brothers said...

Hang in there. I know how hard it is. The one thing that helped me was not trying to analyze everytime she cried. Alot of the time it was gas or hunger. But all of the others I would try to analyze to death trying to fix it. Sometimes she cried )and still does), just to cry. All I do is hold her, rock her, sway etc...
I am a 1st time mom and everyday I learn something about the wonderful little girl I have.
Oh, and I still cry...not as much as the 1st few weeks when I could not do as much as I wanted w/ the c-section healing.