Before I get into this, how about we get something clear? I am only giving my opinion, and I'm not judging you if your opinion is different than mine. We can be adults about this, and realize we may not feel the same way re: the subject. I honestly do NOT want to see comments from women or men who feel like they need to justify to me, of all people, why they don't stay at home. That is purely your business. Share if you want to - but please don't feel like you need to justify your actions.
I did not get much sleep at all last night. On my mind was a conversation I had with my sis in law about how we, and lots of other women, try to deal with suddenly 'staying at home' (kids or no kids) and how often we become depressed when there isn't much to do.
When I got married a few years ago, I decided that I'd had enough of my semi-crappy job and wanted to stay at home. No, I didn't have any kids. I'm not sure what I thought it would be like. Quaint, I'm sure.
The reality was I was a terrible housekeeper. My kitchen was, as a rule, atrocious, and I felt I had much better things to do online than to keep my house spick and span. It makes me shudder to think back on all the dirty dishes that sat around for days, the dirty laundry that stayed in a pile for, let's be honest, weeks. I did feel depressed and I had no self motivation to take care of myself or my apartment.
In my own way, I was learning a very good example of what NOT to do.
We've been married three years and now with the baby thrown into the equation.
Would I ever go back to work?
I would guess that for some women with actual careers, the idea of going back to work is tempting. For me, the idea of going back to an office, or e-gads, RETAIL, is just not a temptation in the least. I say that with love for the ladies who do work in those settings, of course. I've worked enough retail to last me a good long while, thank you very much.
I have an extended family member that suggests checking out the mommy play groups in the area for something to do. Can I admit that deep down I'd rather spend the afternoon cleaning the toilet than go to a mommy group function? Am I horrible for feeling that way? Am I totally sick and twisted that I feel content to get my adult interaction through blogging and my internet friends, or real life friends, who I keep up with by email?
I've never been a person who needed a gaggle of girls hanging around to feel validated. And I'm not saying that is what mommy groups ARE or are FOR, but I'm just saying that I've always felt like a bit of a loner, of an anti-joiner, and I truly feel content to skip out on all the groups. I don't feel like less of a person, woman, or mom, if I have no desire to go out and make a bunch of new mommy friends.
Basically, it all comes down to this. If I had to, I would do it. If my husband was hurt and could not work, I would go back to work. Short of that, when I think of dropping my baby off at a daycare, and I think of all that I would be missing out on during the day -- the laughs, the singing, the silliness, the 'tude, everything good and bad, I just can't justify leaving her.
Short of staying with a grandma every day, I don't feel like a daycare employee would give her the love, the attention, the care that I can. No one knows her like I do. No one knows her noises like I do. The noises that mean I'm bored, or I'm hungry, I need love, or I've got a poop in my drawers. Nobody can tend to her like I can.
I truly think it is my privilege to stay at home and take care of her. Often by the time my husband gets home from work and takes over, the baby is cranky and tired and full of fuss. I cannot imagine what it would be like to miss the whole rest of the day when she is a little angel baby! It hurts me just to imagine that.